From the Brow of Zeus

Ausir has information on an unreleased Interplay game called Fallout Extreme.

Fallout Extreme was a canceled squad-based first- and third-person tactical game for the Xbox, using the Unreal Engine and developed by Interplay's 14 Degrees East division (co-developers of Fallout Tactics). It was in development for a several months in 2000, but didn't really have a concrete development team and never made it out of concept. After it was canceled, Interplay's next attempt at making a console version of Fallout was Fallout: Brotherhood of Steel, this time for both the Xbox and PS2.

He may know the secret history, but this is the only place you'll find this exclusive Fallout Extreme image below:

Now we know what the vent on the top of his head is for.

Labels: videogames

When I was 8 or 9, I really wanted an NES (just like everyone else), but instead of getting one, we got a Sega Master System. We grumbled a little, but it did come with three free games. The first two were combined in one cart: Hang On, a motorcycle racing game that was pretty neat, and Astro Warrior, a vertical shump with music that, to this day, brings back memories of clamping my mitts around a SMS pad and playing as best I could despite freezing mountain town temperatures.

The third game was a mail-in special, which you got as a reward for buying Sega: Double Dragon.

Double Dragon was the first arcade game I ever saw that had a line of people waiting to play it. I'll never forget the day I walked into Scandia and saw four or five people actually waiting to play an arcade game. Not just one or two guys popping quarters on the machine to hold their place--a right British queue.

"Why the heck are they waiting?" I wondered. "This arcade is huge, there's tons of games, go play them!"

Then I got a taste of Double Dragon and I knew it was worth standing in line for. Just like it was worth getting a Sega instead of a Nintendo.

See, the NES version of Double Dragon is compromised. There's no two player simultaneous mode--the fighting minigame really isn't worth mentioning--which means one of the best two-player co-op games at the time was whittled down to alternating multiplayer. This had a huge impact on the game, because not only did it mean waiting to take turns with my brother, it ruined my favorite end-game twist of all time.

Anyone remember beating Double Dragon at the arcade for the first time? Me and my brother did it. My little brother, really, because by the time the credits rolled, I was already dead. See, D.D. is your standard blue jeans 80s revenge movie boiled down into a simple quest to save the girl, but after punching your way through cities and forests and finally getting to the Shadow Warrior's lair, the game suddenly pits both players against each other in a fight to the death. This is insane, because whoever loses is basically branded the surprise twist villain, and the other guy saves the girl and gets the happy ending.

I didn't get the girl. My little brother did. I fell off a friggin' pit at the bottom of the screen and lost my last life.

Of course, the NES Double Dragon lacks all of this. There's no, "No way!" moment where you suddenly have to box your friend over a pit of death. You just fight yet more baddies until the end of the game.

The Sega Double Dragon was different. It was the first really good arcade port I ever played. (Atari 2600 Pac-Man... was not great.) I played the hell out of D.D., and sometimes my brother won, and sometimes I did, but either way, on the way to the Shadow Warrior's lair, it was fun as hell.

We eventually did get an NES, rented the hell out of Batman and Super Mario Bros. 2. We loved it, having known all along that SMS was second fiddle to NES. We even rented Double Dragon a lot, just out of morbid curiosity. But it just wasn't the same, and in the end, we always went back to Sega's Double Dragon.

The movie is pretty cool, too. But that's a story for another time.

Images from MobyGames.

Labels: videogames

Here's a funny article written by Rob Bricken of Topless Robot: The 10 Most Shameful RPG Dice.

There's quite a few dice I haven't heard of, including an oddball little D5 from the maker of the Zocchihedron, a 100-sided dice of dubious randomness (also featured).

There are dice made of gold and dinosaur bones, but the highlight has to be the utter insanity of the D34.

What are we doing? We have descended into madness as human beings.

I love that line. Read it--and others--by clicking here.

Labels: misc

...


He was angry about the lack of non-slip floor mats.

Labels: misc

Zooks! There's a prequel to John Carpenter's "The Thing" in the works, reportedly set in the Norwegian camp were everyone's favorite polymorphing practical effect hung out before getting all up in Kurt Russel's area.

The Thing prequel is being directed by an unknown commercial director (which is standard these days, just like the Friday and Chainsaw reboots), and the first draft of the screenplay was penned by Battlestar Galactica's Ronald D. Moore.

People are outraged.

It cracks me up when someone hears about a project like this and rants about remakes. I even came across one gentleman who said he wished that instead of prequels, remakes, sequels and reboots, Hollywood would make original movies.

Dude, John Carpenter's "The Thing" *was* a remake. If he got his wish, one of the greatest horror movies of all time would never have been made.

This is why they have to hide genies in lamps.

Granted, it's probably going to suck. Something tells me "Tremors 4: The Legend Begins" is going to wind up being the better movie. But why take a stand against remakes using The Thing as your poster child? The Thing is a remake of Howard Hawks' "The Thing From Another World" (1951), which in turn was adapted from the John W. Campbell Jr. novella, "Who Goes There?" Needless to say, this is one of the worst movies I can think of to get all miffed about not having an original idea.

It's impossible for me to mention The Thing without linking to my good buddy Ridley's hilarious sketch, seen below.

Right click and save as to download.

Labels: movies

Heya guys. Wooo! Dig that new year smell. I know I haven't been around lately, but I've been pretty busy with, you know, stuff.

Labels: misc

Labels: misc

For the next 23 hours and 20 minutes, you can read a full preview of my upcoming book, The Dream Quest: Dark Fantasy and Horror. This copy hasn't been proofread yet--or that is to say, I've proofread it, and a lot of good that'll do--so expect a typo or two, but don't let that stop you from getting through it. The upcoming softcover edition will be checked for typos and ready for the holidays.

Labels: misc

Rock, Paper, Shotgun reported on a bizarre Danish public service announcement web game designed to fight domestic abuse (no doubt because domestic abuse let its dinner get cold).

Hit The Bitch! (I wish I was making that up) is an interactive, full motion video experience that easily rivals all the first-person domestic abuse films out of Hollywood. In the game, a pretty brunette gets in an argument with her Danish "gangsta" boyfriend. The playa--and player--is then encouraged to slap her around for twenty minutes.



This is upsetting on so many levels. There are "gangstas" in Denmark? That's the problem with Globalization. Awful fads spread unchecked, and before you know it there's a global pandemic of Danish G-dawgs and Texan CHAVs.

Believe it or not, it's actually worse than it looks. While the ker-pows and floating Doom Guy hand may seem comical at first, a user on The Escapist forums posted this translation of the dialog:

I guess it helps to be able to speak Danish, so here's a little help.

The game starts with the girl supposedly coming out from a party, some music in the background.
She tells that she's had the time of her life talking and dancing with a bunch of people.
Silence as if the player is saying something.
She gets upset and says that you can't dictate who she wants to dance with.
First hit.
She calls you weak and a loser.
Second hit.
She continues calling you a bastard with a small d*** and so on.
More hits. At one time she said "the only time you feel like a man is when you're taking me from behind while I scream "No"".
Game ends and a Danish rapper (can't figure out which) says you're an idiot and you should get help and 2 links pop up directing you to some counceling sites.

Yeah, we should get counseling. Not the evil mastermind who made this first person violent rapist domestic abuse simulator--the players who are ordered to beat their digital girlfriends. That's like Jigsaw making you gnaw through your own head, then frowning and handing you a couple of anti-self-mutilation pamphlets.

I don't just object to this game as a man and human being, I object to it as a gamer. The controls are horrible. You'd think a game entirely based around pimp slapping would actually let you pimp slap, but no, a sweeping backhand across the actresses progressively damaged face does nothing. Instead you have to wiggle the hand back and forth right in front of her nose, as if waving away the stink of a fart (or an especially tasteless web game). The lifebar a takes forever to whittle away, and as I sat there, waiting for the 'game' to end, it occurred to me that a much better idea would have been a web game designed to show women how to escape from abusive relationships, rather than, you know, just standing there and getting slapped around for twenty minutes. Run, girl!

Besides, it's not like the kind of baggy-pants d-bags who actually beat their girlfriends are going to change their ways after playing this. And the worst thing about this? You know that someone, somewhere, is getting off on it.

I believe Joshua from the RPS comments said it best:

A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

Nevertheless, you probably want to check it out for yourself. There was so much outrage/morbid curiosity traffic that they're now blocking for all non-Danes. Luckily, there's a mirror of the game here. (Edit: Googleshng reminded me about the original pimp slapping game, Rose&Camellia, which is less pretentious and offensive, focused more on the "elegant art of feminine conflict.")

I think I speak for everyone when I say, I hope the people behind this campaign don't take a stand against inappropriate touching.

Labels: videogames

My bad. The project turned out taking a lot longer than I thought it would, hence the lack of Halloween treats. It might wind up taking a couple more weeks, but you guys will get your loot.