From the Brow of Zeus

MTV Multiplayer reports that "Extreme Sitter" Aaron Fotheringham, a wheelchair bound teenager who performs backflips and other stunts, thinks "those video games are death."

Watch the video below, and try not to become too inspired until you get to the end.

"When other kids in wheelchairs see me doing what I do, I'd just like to inspire them to go off a curb or jump a stair set, or just get out of the house, because those video games are death."

Let's see that again in slow motion:

"...juuuummmppp....aaa....sssssttaaaiiiirrr....sssseeettt..."

People this stupid need to come with disclaimers.

Face it, if some guy tried to "inspire" your teenage son or kid brother to push his wheelchair down a flight of stairs, you'd call the cops.

Labels: videogames

Over at Fidgit, the SciFi Channel gaming blog I read obsessively, Tom Chick has a new list of ten Halo factoids you probably didn't know about.

Halo will be seven years old tomorrow (the original game was released Nov. 15, 2001). It started as an experiment. Could Bungie, a company that made shooters for the Macintosh, make a shooter for Microsoft's new console system? It turned into a juggernaut.

I think one of the reader comments sums it up nicely:

"This article has informed me of several things I didn't know about the Halo series, unfortunately they are all made up."

• Halo secured a spot in the Guinness Book of World Records when it hit 26 million copies sold and became the best-selling game of all time.
• The logo from Monolith, one of Bungie's earlier games, has a prominent place in Halo 3. At the end of the game, Master Chief has saved the galaxy from the alien Covenant, the zombified Flood, and the actual Halos, which were galactic weapons of mass destruction. However, he's stranded himself in deep space in the process. So he put himself into suspended animation to await rescue. Roll credits. But a secret ending shows him drifting towards a planet with the Marathon logo. Easter egg or teaser?
• Halo's unlikely celebrity endorsement: "I've stayed up all night playing Xbox. Halo is the only game I play. It's the only game I know how to play and I'm not very good. But I will play it obsessively." That was Julia Roberts in a 2006 interview.
  

Best selling game of all time? Julia Roberts? Monolith?

A quick check at Wikipedia reveals Super Mario Bros. for the NES is still the best selling game of all time, at least according to Guinness.

Is Tom having fun at the expense ofHalo fans, or has something gone seriously wrong over at Fidgt? I just saw an ad for the website on the Sci Fi channel yesterday, so maybe the influx of readers had something to do with it. It's probably just one of those days.

When I tried to post a correction in the comments, Word Press told me "Text entered was wrong. Try again." Now *that's* irony.

UPDATE: Tom said it was all a case of bad editing. The facts and figures have been corrected. Now just one question remains: Where the heck can I get a copy of Monolith?

Labels: videogames

I think I mentioned this work-in-progress months ago, but when you're sick and home all day, it's a good a time as any to catch up on blog posts.

5 Reasons I Bought UnReal World RPG
The UnReal World RPG is an independent PC game set in the Finnish Iron age. What separates it from most other role-playing games is an emphasis on survival, simulating the harsh rigors of living off the land in ancient times. Instead of classes like Warriors and Wizards, you play Fishermen, Hunters and my personal favorite, a crazy old Hermit. It's sort of like an antisocial Dwarf Fortress, only this sucker has been around since the early 90s.

Click here to read the article, or visit the official UnReal World RPG page.

And no, that shot isn't me and my brother, it's from the game.

Labels: videogames

It's Gamepro, so you know it has to be good.

Here's a choice quote from Oblivion:

Even two years after its initial release, the game is still a feast for the eyes and is proof that game companies need to make more first-person RPG games.

So the game proves we need more role play game games?

Nicely put.

Xenogears is #8, a game I hate so much I'm going to repost an article on my website from years ago listing the reasons Xenogears sucks.

So deep was the customization and maintenance required for your Gear, and so rewarding were the results of adding parts and upgrades, the combat of Xenogears was almost another game within a game.

Yeah, too bad it was a game within a game with a ten-billion word script, each of those words more painful to read than the last.

#7 is The Ultima Series.

What a cop-out. Why do Zelda and Final Fantasy get separate entries, but not Ultima? Anyone who lists "series" is saying, "Okay, every Ultima game combined is pretty good. But you know what's better? #6..."

#6: Diablo II: Lord of Destruction.

The Diablo II expansion pack!

The sad thing is, I don't even think they realize they listed the expansion pack. It's not like they said, "Diablo II + Lord of Destruction."

Though not a full-blown RPG, Diablo II's hack-and-slash adventure makes our list. Why? Because it's an insanely fun game that weaves in RPG elements.

They write that for Diablo, yet when they listed #9: The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, they didn't even mention what a Zelda game was doing on a list of RPGs. (Okay, Zelda II had an experience system... but we're talking Zelda III here.)

Fallout 3 is #5.

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time (aka Zelda 64) is #3. Again, no Diablo-style mention of "it's not really an RPG." Which confuses me, because no matter how much you hate action/adventures or action/rpgs, you've got to admit, Diablo II was a hell of a lot more of an RPG than Zelda 3.

The list closes with World of Warcraft as #2, and Final Fantasy VII as #1.

Final Fantasy VII.

Incidentally, Final Fantasy VI was nowhere on the list.

Cripes.

I can't go on, it's too depressing. Just see for yourself.

Labels: videogames

Hockey Mask + Elvis Hair = Jason Presley.

Labels: misc

Sorry this is a bit late, I was getting weird blogger errors whenever I tried to post and it threw off my whole groove. My groove, damnit! Thrown clear off course.

Here's a bit of Zeus Vs. Stephen King Text Adventure for your holiday enjoyment.

Stephen King's The Mist PC Game Review

Enjoy.

Labels: videogames

Three More Days 'Till Halloween

SILVER SHAMROCK!

As is tradition here at Mirtna.org, we're celebrating the last three days of October with three spooky posts. I've dugdeep in the cobwebbed vaults for the creepiest rants, reviews and random crap I can find.

Today's entry:

Gooflumps: Eat Cheese And Barf!

Three labels warn you, "Not a real Goosebumps book!" Even the title screams "don't sue us!" -- it's a goof, get it? Despite the excessive warnings (ten in all), Gooflumps isn't a badly written parody; it's really a knock off that substitutes poop jokes for satire.

Coming up tomorrow? Either my review of the text adventure game "Stephen King's The Mist" or something even better.

Labels: misc

Well guys, I'm sorry to say I had to resign from Out of Eight. Some things have come up and I just don't have enough time to thoroughly play and review games anymore. James was nice and invited me back when my situation changes, but for now, I'm only going to have enough time for random updates here and there; no more marathon gaming for me.

Here's my last two reviews: King's Bounty - The Legend (7/8) and Strong Bad Episode 2 (also a 7/8).

There's been a tremendous amount of good PC games lately. Tactical-RPGs, adventure games, not just the usual big budget FPS titles critics seem to adore. It's starting to remind me of the 32 bit console era, when magazines regularly gave 100% scores to Tomb Raider and Mario 64, and in one magazine's case, a 101% score for Final Fantasy VII.

Labels: videogames

Last week I raved about Mount&Blade. This week it's Belief & Betrayal, a game that proves having an ampersand in your title isn't enough to guarantee success.

Imagine a gray haired man with his back to the camera. His voice is flippant, shrill and condescending. He's Jonathan Danter, a journalist and something of a ladies man, at least according to his editor, who's worried he'll waste time “looking at girls in mini skirts and sexy tops.” But there's no way any girl could tolerate the presence of this goofy-looking goose in shoes. He's undeniably irritating, the kind of guy you couldn't wait to get away from. And that's before he busts out his lovable little chestnut: “cats whiskers!”

Read my Belief & Betrayal review, or you can check out all my old Out of Eight reviews in the archives.

Labels: videogames

So, Mount&Blade was the first game I gave an 8/8 rating to, and --

What's that? I didn't tell you I write game reviews for Out of Eight? Well, now you know. And you can click here to read all my reviews on one page.

Anyway, Mount&Blade is an Action/RPG/Strategy game best known for its emphasis on large scale battles and real-time mounted combat. But you can ignore all that deadly warfare stuff and just be an apolitical merchant trader, buying low and selling high. I hate to abuse a cliche, but it's a bit like Grand Theft Auto. And Darklands. And Sid Meier's Pirates! Oh yeah, and it rules.

I always take a moment to contemplate my next step before crushing my opponent beneath the heel of my boot.

You can read my review of Mount&Blade here. If that doesn't convince you, there's also a generous free demo which lets you play the whole game until you reach level seven.

Spoiler Alert: I give it an 8/8, which doesn't mean perfect, it means you should buy the damn game already.

Labels: videogames