From the Brow of Zeus

The #1 cure for fanboy rage is precedent.

Whenever there's a sequel, remake or spinoff of a beloved series, fanboys will inevitably spot some element they feel is completely foreign to the series and loudly complain. It could be a character personality trait, costume design or weird backstory which they feel simply does not fit in with their beloved series.

The funny thing is, more often than not, this foreign concept has been there since the beginning.

Dissing Dissidia: Final Fantasy

When I caught sight of Kefka in the new Final Fantasy fighting game, I was pretty disgusted. Now, Kefka's always rivaled The Joker for the "Clown Prince of Chaos," but never quite so literally as this. He didn't look anything like the maniacally laughing in-game version of himself. (Pixel Kefka had regular flesh tones and wore mostly green and red.)

Hell, this new design was even more outrageous than the FMV they made for the Final Fantasy VI re-release. For cryin' out loud, he looks like a walking, anthropomorphic version of Stewie's hat.

Where the hell did they get this godawful design from?

Amano's original concept art, apparantly.

Diablo 3's Monk Class

The recently announced Monk class in Diablo 3 is a perfect example of misdirected fanboy rage. I've heard complaints that an Asian style monk simply does not belong in a Diablo game and that that the monk is "only there to appease World of Warcraft fans."

The only problem is that Monks have been around since Hellfire, the Diablo 1 expansion released way back in 1997. That's right, they're bringing back a class that predates World of Warcraft by 7 years... just to appease the WoW fans.

Now, I've never played World of Warcraft. So for all I know, their Monks are huge bearded fellows with bald heads, big clubs and bad combat animations. But here's a description the Hellfire monk:

The Monk is extremely skilled in hand-to-hand combat, and is a master of the staff,
which he can use to strike many opponents with a single blow. However, he is not
well trained with bladed or projectile weapons, and is not used to wearing heavy armor. - Diablo: Hellfire Tomb of Knowledge

Sound like anyone we know?


Hellfire was developed for Sierra by Synergistic Software. It's not Blizzard's baby, more like their chubby little niece with weird eyes we're not supposed to talk about. But whether or not Hellfire was released in the Diablo Battle chest (it wasn't), someone at Blizzard obviously liked the Monk character class enough to bring it back.


The whole, "Asian monks don't belong in Diablo" thing reminds me of a scene from Gamers: Dorkness Rising.

Player: "I'm playing a monk."
Dungeon Master: "What's he going to do, copy manuscripts?"
Player: "Think Kung Fu monk, Grasshopper."
DM: "No. I based my world on a fantasied Western medieval period. There are no Kung Fu monks in Western Europe."
Player: "I'm asking to play a basic character class and you're blocking me!"
DM: "Fine. You can play a monk. But he's got to fit the world. He's got to be a Western monk. Bzzt! [Motions like he's shaving the back of his head.] Occidental."

And naturally, the player jumps out looking like this:



The only difference is, here it's the game master arguing against Monks, while in Diablo 3, we've got the players complaining that Monks "don't fit" the world.

The Antidote

The next time some fanboy complains that Sulu wields a sword in the new Star Trek movie (like he did in the original series) or that Indiana Jones survives an unbelievable fall in an inflatable raft in Crystal Skull (like he did back in Temple of Doom), just tell them to look it up. Chances are, it's anything but unprecedented.

Labels: videogames

Due to reasons entirely beyond my control, I'll no longer be able to do Level Up RPG Podcast anymore. For the record, this has NOTHING to do with Jake or any of the Level Up guest hosts -- they're all champs. I'd like to work with them again in the future, though it will have to be a different medium.

I have no idea where things will go from here, but will let you know as soon as I find out.

I'm sorry, guys.

Labels: videogames