From the Brow of Zeus

For the next 23 hours and 20 minutes, you can read a full preview of my upcoming book, The Dream Quest: Dark Fantasy and Horror. This copy hasn't been proofread yet--or that is to say, I've proofread it, and a lot of good that'll do--so expect a typo or two, but don't let that stop you from getting through it. The upcoming softcover edition will be checked for typos and ready for the holidays.

Labels: misc

Rock, Paper, Shotgun reported on a bizarre Danish public service announcement web game designed to fight domestic abuse (no doubt because domestic abuse let its dinner get cold).

Hit The Bitch! (I wish I was making that up) is an interactive, full motion video experience that easily rivals all the first-person domestic abuse films out of Hollywood. In the game, a pretty brunette gets in an argument with her Danish "gangsta" boyfriend. The playa--and player--is then encouraged to slap her around for twenty minutes.



This is upsetting on so many levels. There are "gangstas" in Denmark? That's the problem with Globalization. Awful fads spread unchecked, and before you know it there's a global pandemic of Danish G-dawgs and Texan CHAVs.

Believe it or not, it's actually worse than it looks. While the ker-pows and floating Doom Guy hand may seem comical at first, a user on The Escapist forums posted this translation of the dialog:

I guess it helps to be able to speak Danish, so here's a little help.

The game starts with the girl supposedly coming out from a party, some music in the background.
She tells that she's had the time of her life talking and dancing with a bunch of people.
Silence as if the player is saying something.
She gets upset and says that you can't dictate who she wants to dance with.
First hit.
She calls you weak and a loser.
Second hit.
She continues calling you a bastard with a small d*** and so on.
More hits. At one time she said "the only time you feel like a man is when you're taking me from behind while I scream "No"".
Game ends and a Danish rapper (can't figure out which) says you're an idiot and you should get help and 2 links pop up directing you to some counceling sites.

Yeah, we should get counseling. Not the evil mastermind who made this first person violent rapist domestic abuse simulator--the players who are ordered to beat their digital girlfriends. That's like Jigsaw making you gnaw through your own head, then frowning and handing you a couple of anti-self-mutilation pamphlets.

I don't just object to this game as a man and human being, I object to it as a gamer. The controls are horrible. You'd think a game entirely based around pimp slapping would actually let you pimp slap, but no, a sweeping backhand across the actresses progressively damaged face does nothing. Instead you have to wiggle the hand back and forth right in front of her nose, as if waving away the stink of a fart (or an especially tasteless web game). The lifebar a takes forever to whittle away, and as I sat there, waiting for the 'game' to end, it occurred to me that a much better idea would have been a web game designed to show women how to escape from abusive relationships, rather than, you know, just standing there and getting slapped around for twenty minutes. Run, girl!

Besides, it's not like the kind of baggy-pants d-bags who actually beat their girlfriends are going to change their ways after playing this. And the worst thing about this? You know that someone, somewhere, is getting off on it.

I believe Joshua from the RPS comments said it best:

A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

Nevertheless, you probably want to check it out for yourself. There was so much outrage/morbid curiosity traffic that they're now blocking for all non-Danes. Luckily, there's a mirror of the game here. (Edit: Googleshng reminded me about the original pimp slapping game, Rose&Camellia, which is less pretentious and offensive, focused more on the "elegant art of feminine conflict.")

I think I speak for everyone when I say, I hope the people behind this campaign don't take a stand against inappropriate touching.

Labels: videogames

My bad. The project turned out taking a lot longer than I thought it would, hence the lack of Halloween treats. It might wind up taking a couple more weeks, but you guys will get your loot.